Monday, June 29, 2009

009 BET AWARDS: It was bad..real bad Michael Jackson

As some of my twitter followers know, I've been waiting for the BET Awards. Even before we learned about the tragic death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. I said I had someone special that would write a review of it.

My fellow music lover, comedian, and a Gawd damn fool...The one and only Amanda!
====================================================================
This was by far the most anticipated award show this year...and we had good reason....The King of Pop passed away...and it was only right that a network dedicated to black achievement would be the first to rightfully honor him and his legacy....but did they do a good job?? FIRST let me rant about the rest of the show before I go there...(please pull up a chair and a sandwich..this just might be a long one..its about to get random lol)

Sooo...this is my first year actually watching the Pre-show...becuz there was a special someone that I think all alumni of Morgan Park [High School] wanted to see :-)

--Hurricane Chris...I can appreciate your excitement becuz this is probably the LAST award show that you'll ever perform at (if the Source Awards were still around you might have a chance)...but my dying question for Hurricane (who will beat it out the frame btw lol)...
**WHHYYYYYYY are u still rockin beads my ninja?? Like do you really like the sound of that shit when the clank together?? Do you really sit in the chair with the tub o' beads in your lap picking out colors?? you look like a fool**

--Terrance J I lowkey like your suit...but u and Rocci are the corniest ever...that video spoof yall did...FAIL!!

--Toccarra...sigh....why did BET give u a mic...better yet...why do they continue to hire you for things that are complicated for you...you know like reading..holding a coherent conversation..not embarrassing yourself..shit like that...

--I noticed every performance always starts off wit a yeaaaa..ooohhh...lets go...lets get it...chea...I dont like that...

--Why was Kid Cudi nominated for Best New Artist?

--Special shout out to Boom Kat Laurie Ann..lol..digging that choreograhpy for Day 26....but why did Mike vest have to be so small???

--Why did Estelle think it was ok to put a bracelet on her bottom teeth and call it bling? why did her glove look more Mickey Mouse than Michael Jackson?

--Who the hell are The New Boys (I think that's their name)...BET was a jerk for letting them sing that song...and who the fuck were those kids in the background? what were they doin?? I tell u bout Cali
folks....

--Mario looked like a gay rugby player...lol or a jockey....

--Keri Hilson..I didnt like your dress..sensory fuckin overload!! She had the Batman "pow!" stars up top..some mosaic tiles at the bottom...and some cheetah print on the side...

--Sean Paul..just go bald...

--wtf was the Centric award? and wat did Jazmine Sullivan do to deserve it?

--Jeremih (but my yearbook says Jeremy Felton lol)....first let me say those background dancers were workin sooooo hard lol....second...i'm proud that he's able to do his thing on a major show like this...no matter how ignorant BET really is...

--soooo.......can I say I just knew that New Edition would find their way on this show?? They still havent lost their moves..and thats good..cuz some of them lost their voice...and BOBBY....Bobby Brown..one u got fat as hell dude...second..u do not lick your tongue out while singing a Jackson 5 song...like who does that??
--Jamie intro was lightweight funny...but did u see him trip during the moonwalk?? and how much u wanna bet he was wearing Alicia Keys tight ass jeans from last year...lol

--Congrats to Lebron for your BET award....you finally won something..ask nike to make a new puppet commercial lol..but why did u bring a crew up there with you???

--Trey Songz u lowkey had the Virginia school system look bad with the non-reading u did....reading is fucking fundamental...but u cute...so I will let it slide lol...

--I love Keri...she got swag..I dug her performance...and the dancers were on point...but then at the end she went too far...she shoulda stopped...

--NeYo killed "Lady in My Life"...I loved it totally...but he really shoulda kept the hat on...it would have distracted me from his sterling silver hoop earrings and Malcolm X glasses (wtf was that about really??)

--Keke Palmer looked like Angela Bassett lowkey lol...but why she look so damn grown?? Isnt she the same age as that lil boy that came on the stage with her?? and Keke boo...you did alright singing...but I dont think people will rush to iTunes to buy your cd (I bet u didnt kno she had one lol)

--Jamie what was the point of bringing Snoop on stage?? and I officially hate T-Pain....it's a depression (lmao thats wat Jamie said..recession is old) and u walking around wit a "Big Ass Chain"...wit ya black ass

--Speaking of Jamie..he desperately needed an earpiece...that ninja was lookin sooo lost the entire show...the camera be on and he's just standing there...and then...why was he ignoring the teleprompter so much??

--Soulja Boy performance left me dizzy..wtf was up wit that camera..look like he performed it a day ago or something and they just stuck it in the show...and WHY did he have on 2 watches, on the same arm??

--Taraji I hated your wig....I hated your lipstick..or lack thereof...but I loved the reenactment of Baby Boy...that is until Ving Rhames had a lil too much Goose and ruined the whole fuckin thing...like ninjas litterally looked scared...blame it on the alcohol....Taraji you was nominated for an Oscar girl you dont have to do this anymore lol

--Whoever was the censor man on this show...he FAILED!! they missed all kinds of curse words...

--MC Lyte is still yelling...

--I felt cheated when they gave out awards...didnt kno who the nominees were..handing them out 2 at a time...wtf BET...rushing like shit...

--Beyonce....WTF SASHA FIERCE!! what the fuck were u doing?? what was this disco ice queen thing u had going??? why can u not perform without wind?? what is with your new obsession with pointy shoulder pads...why did u think it was ok to sing fuckin Ava Maria..or whatever its called...this is BET bitch..what u thought this was the Tony Awards?? cuz u got your acting on (did u see her acting like she was gonna cry when she received her award..like she dont have something better...like a couple grammys?)..and the snowflakes...whhyyy??? I was totally confused by this..she know we was all looking for her to shake her crotch Diva style..shit sing Ego...Crazy in Love??...All she needed was some ice skaters behind her...BUT JAY-Z IS HER HUBBY!!! (I saw that shit lmao)

--Why when Mary Mary performed "Blame it on the Holy Water" no one was really standing?? but when Queen Latifah came out it got shit rockin...although I understand..I was hyped to see her rapping..that jazz shit she was doing really bothered me...and she looks very good now...she came a long way from lookin like she wore shorts with dick-holes in them.....

--Why did Zoe call that Star Trek lady out?? the whole "she's in the bathroom right now" bit..lol damn..and all she did was stand there and smile..this was not a good night for the elderly (see Don Cornelius)

--NeYo totally bit A. Keys performance...but I wasnt too mad cuz I loved seeing Keith Sweat (but never ever sing in your low register again), Guy, and BBD...

--Ciara...ask me how I thought of your performance?? it was shit...actually it wasn't terrible cuz i've heard worse...but really...how is BET gonna tribute Michael Jackson and no one really dance?..of all the people I would expect this bitch to kill....but she didnt...

--Keyshia Cole and Monica..i really didnt like that song...but oooohhhh my bitch Monica shut it down!!!!!!!!! she looked good and she sounded good!! anyone who knows me..know I been down with her since 94 (peep my name on FB)...I really need her to get into the studio..did u see all that sassy neck she was giving as she sang...I love her...Keyshia let this be a lesson..never do you invite a bitch who's more talented than you to do a duet....FAIL

--Did anyone peep Ryan Leslie outfit?? He looked like those blond gangstas from Meteor Man..the Baby Lords...lmao

--Don Cornelius (with your Ben Franklin glasses)..wtf was u talking about?? like u are the reason why the show went over time....i was so glad when the O'Jays just decided to stand up..cuz you were not going to stop..does polka dots and stripes go together?

--OMG Tevin!!! I’m so glad u stepped out of the gay bars for a sec to sing for us..it was nice hearing you again..and he actually looked decent..in comparison to other photos I’ve seen of him (Happy birthday ashley banks lmao)

--Tyrese, Johnny, and Trey actually did a good job honoring the O’Jays..did you see Johnny Gill slay them dance moves?? Trey we know you not a dancer..just look cute baby…but…did you see when Johnny was singing to the camera and he pursed his lips ever so tightly??

--Don’t you wish Gerald Levert was still alive for that??

--Did you see Soulja Boy looking out of his league while the O’jays were performing...young ass

--Did you seeeee Lil Momma hair????

--Tiny better accept that award for her man..wit ya piglet lookin ass….

--why is BET hyping up Tiny & Toya sooooo much?? And Frankie & Nefe?? Whyyyyyyy

--Keri Hilson mom was really enjoying herself..speakin of which…Kanye got a lot of camera time enjoying that Amber Rose chick..if you look hard..them ninjas was all in each others face while the O’Jays were speaking…

--Jamie did you REALLY say u get MOIST for Maxwell??? I knew u were suspect….but dude is sexy…but who gonna clean up all them damn feathers??

--Drake…did u channel your inner wheelchair Jimmy cuz your ass didn’t move from that stool…and I saw your ass hobble off the stage lol..and yea that sweater??? ninja please

--Why did BET even allow for Lil Wayne to perform Every Girl…more like Every Pre-Teen…them lil kids playing jump rope and hand games while Wayne is talking about pussy, pussy, pussy….thats sooooo inappropriate….and Baby you too old to sag your pants…but then again LL Cool J is still wearing graphic tees sooo…..

-- I damn near died when Janet came out…she looked nice…but u can feel the pain as she spoke..but wtf u mean your siblings “elected” you to speak?? Like did yall really vote on it? Lol…and omg that pic of them when they were kids was sooo adorable…did she throw "shade" (i love that term) at her dad when she said "my family couldnt be here"?

--Was this the Jamie and NeYo show?? They sang everything!!! But it was touching….

And then it just ended like that….

I was highly disappointed with Debra Lee and Stephen Hill..cuz this award show was a total mess…I understand Mike died suddenly..but that doesn’t mean you change then ENTIRE show to revolve around him…becuz it became confusing…it was like this show is about Mike..but not really….had they just added a slideshow here..a tribute performance there…I think it would have been much better....

And honestly..with the exception of “lady in my life”..the tributes coulda been better….where the hell was the dancing???? WHERE WAS CHRIS BROWN…OR USHER MAYBE?? I understand Chris is goin thru things…but so did Mike..and this would have been a perfect comeback for Chris…he would have honored him right…maybe some other awards show will do better…because wether it happened 3 days ago or 3 weeks ago..it coulda been handled better

but then again...this IS BET....

I guess you can watch all their bullshit shows thats coming out soon instead...in the words of my favorite website Crunk& Disorderly: Whaaaa?? BET getting a cooking show? I already know how to cook grits without it sticking to the bottom!!

7 comments:

  1. Amanda, I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't laugh my ass off and agree with you!

    The BET Awards was garbage once again but garbage in the name of a King. So sad!

    ReplyDelete
  2. thanks sooooooooo much for the love lmao....I was laughing at how people were textin me stuff I should say during the show...

    but all hate aside..I weep for BET..this was the one time they could have really done something special and they didn't...they had CNN following...so the let the world see them fail..now what do I look too? Frankie and Nefe?? Boo. Bitch. Bye!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The "Baby Boy" moment was funny until Ving said that off the wall comment. Kinda tactless, especially if you don't live up to the claim made. I didn't think the show was a total bomb though. I laughed and smiled a lot, well a lot is a stretch, a little. I think Jamie's funny, but I know he had to change his script because of the MJ circumstance - I like when he's no holds barred.

    ReplyDelete
  4. lmao this was soooo funny, OMG she toped my by alot, I love it! lmaorh

    ReplyDelete
  5. omg just caught something ... Drake tore his ACL ... dont wanna seem like i'm taking up for him cause that performance sucked ass but yea he had an excuse for his suckage ....

    ReplyDelete
  6. That bastard always suck! Screw Drake ol' retarded Jimmy ass.lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. lol lmao retarded Jimmy ass , you silly!

    ReplyDelete